Havachat Devereaux

Some people in customer service don't chat much to their customers, but I love talking to my clients because people are so interesting and if you ask the right questions you always learn such interesting stuff.

Today a couple of amusing things happened which had me chuckling and more than a little dumbfounded. This will give you an idea of why I love my job plus the poor, twisted shape of my sense of humour.

First of all, I had this dear seventy year old customer come up to me with a withdrawal. But when I turned her form over I found someone had written, "SUCK MY LEFTEY xxx" on the back.

"Did you write this?" I asked my customer, trying desperately to keep a straight face.

"Oh deary me. I certainly did not," she blushed. "But oh look, it's got kisses."

"Yes," I acknowledged. "They're sending a mixed message."

It kept us amused for the rest of the transaction. I was especially impressed she didn't have to ask me what it meant - the old girls these days have so much more life experience.

Shortly after I had another customer in front of me, who amused me for an entirely different reason. The young woman presented with bare feet and the look of someone who'd been up all night drinking and smoking - plus she had some scabs forming on the sides of her face, which I thought was an odd place to keep them. Clearly, she'd been having a bad day. Or couple of days even.

"What's happened to you?" I asked, because I can never think of a reason not to.

"I had an altercation," she answered.

"With what?" I asked. Bitumen?

"A police officer."

At this point she couldn't have steered me away from the conversation with a blue healer and a bull whip. But I sensed I had to be careful not to scare her off with a series of questions, so I nodded for her to go on.

"He had the handcuffs on too tight." There was a pause while I digested this little nugget. My mind wasn't quite connecting the dots. She took a breath before she plowed on. I might add, her tone wasn't accusatory, just matter of fact.

"You see, he pulled me over and told me my car was defective. But I knew it wasn't so I drove off. So then there was a bit of a car chase. But I pulled over and explained why I drove off, and he said that was alright. But then he put the cuffs on too tight."

A bit of a car chase? She could have been describing an episode of Cops.

But apparently that's why she has scabs on the side of her head, and that's why I can never think of a reason not to ask my customers lots of questions and have a conversation - you never know where it's going to lead.