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Friday, December 16, 2011

Catching a Conversation By The Tale

You know how sometimes when you come in on the end of a conversation you don't actually pick up on the thread of the topic so well? That happened to me today.

A girl at work was chatting to a customer while she saw to his banking needs.

"We don't use the F word here," she said to him as I passed by.

Odd thing to say, I thought. I wonder if he was being rude or if they were talking about work protocols. He seemed like an alright sort of guy, and there was no hint of animosity between them. Never one to censor my words I jumped in.

"We say intercourse instead," I told the customer.

Both Kimmy and her customer continued to stare at me for what became an awkward amount of time. They mustn't have heard me properly, I thought.

"We don't say the F word, we say intercourse," I said helpfully. Thinking this time, for sure, I'd elicit a snicker. I got more than a snicker, I can tell you. But the joke was on me.

"Actually, the F word we were talking about was FLOODS," said Kimmy.


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About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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