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Friday, September 23, 2011

Number One's and Number Two's

Excitement levels were through the roof here in Devereauxville tonight because for the second time in her short, sweet, nappy filled little life Miss1 managed to announce her intentions and make it to the loo, even if she was prairie dogging.

Tracey makes a big deal out of baby's first time rolling over and first steps and stuff. For me, toilet training is high on my list of milestones I look forward to, and it's not just the chance to eat with my fingers again.

I look forward to having my baby toilet trained for the same reason I live in town where there's a sewerage system instead of on a property where we'd have to deal with a septic tank - poo combines poorly with air and I don't want to have anything to do with it once it's been set free. Unfortunately with nappies you not only have to clean the baby's bottom, the nappy also hangs around in the bin until your pregnant wife threatens to throw up on your shoes if you don't remove the rubbish outside immediately.

I'd rather we all just flush and forget.

So we go all carnival when a little one starts going to the toilet, with clapping and big smiles and falsetto encouragements. We like to let the little ones decide for themselves when they're ready, rather than try force it. Biggest problem can be they scare themselves silly the first time they manage to drop the kids off at the pool. Master6 was a couple of months between tricks.

As for number one's, you hear people talk about putting ping pong balls in the loo to give the boys something fun to aim at. I learned a lot about training boys to pee standing up when Master19 was a young'n and my advice is don't let them know they can! At least not until they can also understand you never put your hand out in front of you to balance yourself while you widdle - especially important in public urinals. And if they are weeing standing you don't want to talk to them. They will turn to face you and this messes with their aim and your clean tiles and possibly your feet. Although this is apparently good for tinea :)

I was talking about toilet training at work today and people were kicking in with some advice. For example, someone suggested for number two's putting lots of toilet paper in the bowl to avoid the shock of splash-back.

Are you kidding? I mean on the face of it there does seem to be some logic, but if you do this you avoid any chance of getting potty and bath out the way at the same time.

1 comment:

rebekah said...

Haha! This made me laugh out loud! Yay - go Miss 1!
Our Miss 14 months now says 'poo poo' and grunts a little when it's time... so we've not changed any poopy nappies for a month or so! Yippee!! We did end up with one on the floor though! Ooops!

About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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