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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Sister Smackdown

Conversation turned to sibling rivalry at work today when one of my colleagues mentioned an ex boyfriend of hers had come into the branch. It seems her sister also liked this young man when they were in their low teens and was a bit put out when he showed a preference for my workmate. So the older sister tried to kill her younger sister with a brick. As you do.

From the raised eyebrows I think we were all waiting for the punchline - I'm pretty sure no-one believed her.

"Dad didn't believe she tried to kill me either," she sighed. "But my sister explained she really did, only she slipped on a step and missed my head. Broke my arm though."

While I'm pleased the two of them seem to have worked things out now (Arm has mended. Boy has a gut.), it does make me wonder what the next twenty years has in store for us.

And it's not like we don't have our own family history of poor sibling relationships - I have an uncle whose big toe was chopped off by one of his brothers.

And my own father was no better. Apparently he tried to shoot one of his older brothers when they were kids. Correction: my father didn't try, he DID shoot his older brother.

Story goes, in a time of great need my uncle won a race to the outhouse, so my dad went and got his gun, put a bead on his brother as he stepped out and then, BANG! Right between the eyes.

"You could have killed him!" my Grandma yelled at my dad.

"What the hell do you think I was trying to do?!" my dad yelled back (you know, if he'd gone to jail I might have had two dads).

So far the only really serious disputes we've had to deal with are fights over the Wii (simple, turn it off) and talking during a movie. But then Master19 & Miss16 have polar romantic interests, so competing for boys' attentions hasn't really entered the picture yet.

"My advice," said my work colleague, "is don't have girls less than two years apart. They'll compete for everything."

Well that memo has arrived a bit late, hasn't it?!

I can't do much about the inevitable rivalry, it seems, but I can at least make the weapons scarce. Although now I think I'm putting way too much faith in the fact we live in a house made of wood.


Archer's Mum said...

lol, funny because its true! i remember zapping my younger sister in the butt as she tried to scamper under an electric fence to get to my cubby house, then to teach me a lesson our older sister and brother decided to hold me down on the road while my brother ran over me with his bike, of course they were only trying to freak me worked. siblings can be so vicious! will also be keeping my two (19 months apart)away from any possible weapons.

Anonymous said...

I think it might be worse for girls, mine are 16mths apart - one day I can see something very sinister happening between them - but my boys are 18mths apart and get along like a house on fire! (sorry for mentioning the "fire" and "house" bit)

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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