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Sunday, September 25, 2011

Revenge of the Chicken

High on my list of things I like to do on a Saturday night is sitting in a hospital waiting room with two overtired children.

Master19 has returned home for a couple of days and I'd cooked us up some nice chicken cutlets for dinner tonight. No sooner had we eaten our meal when I was bathing the girls and noticed some marks on Miss7, who had a slight fever this morning, & Miss4.

Deciding we were probably dealing with Chicken Pox, given the time of the year and our sort of luck (the type Alanis Morissette was singing about in Ironic), I took them down to the hospital - with Tracey pregnant we felt we needed to know what we were dealing with sooner rather than later.

When the nurse asked to see Miss4's stomach and back I lifted up her nightie and we all simultaneously discovered Miss4 hadn't put undies on. 

Naturally, my children were beautifully behaved, if by 'beautifully behaved' we mean they didn't knife anyone or set fire to trash cans. If you take the definition to mean they were quiet and respectful of each other's personal space, then not so much.

Back in the waiting area I exhausted myself trying to keep Miss4's legs together and her nightie covering her bits - an incredibly difficult task given that she thought it was hilarious she could wiggle her butt monster at strangers.

Learning from waiting rooms the world over, the hospital has installed a huge screen telly to keep the wannabe patients distracted. Unfortunately when we sat down I realized the second Jurassic Park was screening. As it was near the end I kept my daughters attention firmly on myself for five minutes while a mummy T-Rex fed  her baby some bloke. 

Another five minutes we discovered it was a Jurassic Park marathon, as the third movie in the series started up, so I asked them to change the channel. They put on football. I don't like watching sport much unless it's the back story in a movie, but at least nobody was being eaten.

After an hour, when it appeared we weren't getting in anytime soon to see a Doctor, I left Master19 with the girls and ducked home (we're less than 2km from the hospital) for some undies and drawing supplies to keep them occupied.

Master19 said I'd been gone about a minute when he received a message from my facebook: hi Geoffrey. I am off to bed now. If they are chicken pox please call my mobile. I will only be having a nanny nap. I hope you are having an awesome time! lol  

Thinking I'd deserted him, he said his first reaction was, "You bastard!" Then he remembered I would never ask him to call my mobile because I don't know which button to press to answer it, so it must have been Tracey.

Three hours later we were home with a positive diagnosis for Miss4 - she has a terrifying and untreatable case of butt monster. 

Miss7 just has Chicken Pox.

1 comment:

Kez said...

Wow, I have all these types of things to look forward to!! Love the way you write - very funny (even if it wasn't so much at the time)!

About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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