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Saturday, April 21, 2012

and this little piggy went bla bla bla all the way home

Some friends offered to bring Miss8 home from her party today, to allow Tracey to race off to a party Miss5 was invited to, and to save my good wife a trip back out to the property. It took a weight off our shoulders.

When they dropped her off I thanked them, but apparently Miss8 made the trip fun with her banter.

"Sometimes I think I'm half boy and half girl," Miss8 explained to them all. When they told me I rolled my eyes but then it occurred to me she's spot on. Not that I think she's having gender identity issues because, "Maybe I'm a little more girl because I like girl's stuff." Makes sense to me.

She then proceeded to tell them how messy our house was. Being a large family themselves, and so understanding the messonomics involved, they said their house was too. But Miss8 was having none of that. Without even having to see their place she assured them our house was worse. And especially her room.

'It's a pigsty," she explained.

"You told them what?" Tracey asked aghast.

"A. Pig. Sty."

"You don't tell people that!" she said, a little manically.

"But you say it all the time," Miss8 explained to her. Where do you go with that?

"Well I'll have to change how I tell the kids to clean their rooms," said Tracey. Kids are like parrots: they repeat what they hear. Better think fast too, because it won't be long before they've covered the floor in more crap.

Sure enough, an hour later the girl's room was a mess again. Always keen for an opportunity to shine and show my wife how helpful I can be, I marched in and announced, "This room is a brothel!"

Apparently my services as a parent are no longer required.

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About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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