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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Stop Helping

The sun wasn't even up when Miss2 once again graced us with her presence in our bed. Unfortunately she doesn't sneak into our room: she's the two year old equivalent of a marching band.

"Mummy!" she softly bellowed. "Up!"

Not surprisingly she woke up Miss0. Not that this worried Miss2, who hunkered down into Tracey's pillow and promptly went back to sleep. 

After several attempts to ignore the little poppet in the cot, and several more pinning our hopes on plugging the noise with a dummy, we realized a bottle was called for.

Well, Tracey realized this. Ashamed to say I barely realized my wife was out of bed.

Of course, when I did realize she was in the kitchen and Miss0 was screaming blue murder I quickly put two and two together and sprung into action. 

"Sophie.....Sophie.....Sophie....," I called out from my pillow. "Don't cry, darling. Mummy's coming." 

She continued to squawk.

"Sophie!" I said loudly, in a lazy attempt to distract her so she'd be quiet again and I could go back to sleep. "Sooooophieeeee."

"Bruce, stop helping! And learn the names of your kids, would you," Tracey snapped at me as she arrived back in the room with a bottle. Seems our Miss0's name is Emily, but then I'm pretty sure I knew that already. "If you'd woken Sophie back up I'd seriously have throttled you."

"Stop helping. Got you," I mumbled. "I'm all over it."

I think she said some other stuff too, but I was already back to sleep.

Not Sophie.



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About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.

 

His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).

 

Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.

 

His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


 

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