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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Can't Fight Literally

It seems, when it comes to fighting, my son is a chip off the ol' block - that is to say, he has no idea.

Tonight I walked into the lounge room and found him on all fours, chasing after Miss5 and, when he caught up with her, ramming his head at her bottom.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm headbutting my sister," he said matter-of-factly. I guess he's into interpretive fighting.

I've always maintained I'm a lover not a fighter, although I said this to Tracey back when we were dating and she asked me if I had a back up plan.

When Master20 and Miss17 were much younger I started taking them to Tae Kwon Do during the week. I figured it would be good for them to learn discipline and self defense. My big boy was into Power Rangers at the time and was always disappointed at the end of a lesson when they didn't give him a zord.

Before too long Tracey and I started joining in as well. Tracey was really good at it. I sucked, black hole style.

In my defense, though, it was difficult to fully concentrate on the routine when there weren't many adults in the class so I often sparred with kids. My punches went well over their heads but their punches, which as instructed they mostly managed to pull up short of the mark, were headed squarely for my groin.

It's not that I'm competitive or anything, but when Tracey managed to triple grade while I only doubled at our first grading I hung up my yellow belt (which basically means I've learned how to bow) and took up a far less confrontational form of self defense called doing whatever the hell my wife says.

Besides I figure if some idiot shapes up to me in a car park I'll tell him, "I'm not your problem mate. My wife's a higher belt than me."

As for Master7 and his unique fighting style, well I can't wait to see his idea of king hitting someone - it'll probably involve his sister's tiara.

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Maybe I should get him to watch this :)


Two Point Five Kids said...

Love your new Self defence class :)

Kez said...

Haha I was forced into tae kwon do when I was younger. My brother was doing it and my dad decided he'd like to get fit and spend time with him. My mum then told me I needed the skills for self it became a family event each training session! Luckily a couple of my good friends from childhood had been forced into it with their families too (now that I think about it - bit suspicious). I was super fit, though. I could do sit ups and push ups like nobody's business! Wish I could still do it now!!
I gave up at green belt, having convinced my mum that I had given it a red hot go and still hated it haha.

Bruce Devereaux said...

Green belt, eh. Looks like you could kick my butt too Kez lol

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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