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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Mirror Mirror

"I think I have a self image problem," Tracey told me last night.

"You?" I said. "But you're beautiful! You're hot! You're sexy!"

"I know, right," she said with her usual sass. Damn right she should know - it's true. Plus I tell her all the time. "But I'm starting to think that's the problem," she said. I told her I didn't understand. "You know half my wardrobe doesn't fit me?"

"So? Me either," I told her. They just don't make XXL's as big as they used to.

"Yeah, but I didn't realize how it had snuck up on me," she said. "I didn't realize how big I actually was."

It seems today Tracey was getting dressed and was checking out how much weight she'd put on. She looked at her bum. 'Not too bad,' she thought to herself. But then she started to wonder if maybe she was seeing herself through rose coloured glasses.

So she decided to test herself: she decided to pretend she was looking at a stranger's bum.

Facing away from the mirror she closed her eyes and pictured herself walking down town past a group of women. Tracey opened her eyes and spun her head around, looking over her shoulder at the woman she'd just passed.

And this is what she thought.

'Oh my god she's got a big ass!' Then she added, without missing a beat, 'I'm glad my bum isn't that big.'

And then the penny dropped.

"So you see," she told me, "my self image is at odds with my reality."

Maybe. But I don't see that as a problem.

The real problem, as I see it, is if she starts noticing what's actually there I dread what she'll see when she looks at me.

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About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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