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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Mopping About

The worst thing a bloke can do is draw attention to how little he does around the house. Or more specifically, inside the house.

If Tracey heads out the door and say, "Can you put away the washing?" I put away the washing. I didn't know there was even washing to be put away, so clearly she's washed, hung, taken down, folded and sorted the washing without me even knowing. By the time she comes home those clothes will be in drawers and cupboards.

There's even an element of guilt at contributing so little to the process, so I'll probably do the dishes as well.

But not all blokes think like this it seems.

The husband of a friend of mine is on holidays at the moment. Their kids are at school and she's at work, so he's got the whole house and day to himself.

Every morning this week, as she's left the house, she's been asking him to mop the floors. Finally, yesterday, he dragged himself off the lounge and went looking for the mop, and from her telling of the story, she's livid.

"Where's the mop?" he phoned to ask her mid-morning.

"Which bucket?" he phoned to ask her a short time later.

"What do I put in the bucket?" he phoned to ask her just after lunch.

When she arrived home from work she was greeted at the front door by her husband.

He'll be wanting praise, she thought. I better turn it on thick or he'll sulk. But he wasn't standing there for applause, he had a bone to pick. Personally, I don't think he put a lot of thought into his statement.

"Did you know," he demanded indignantly, "it takes over an hour to mop the entire house?!"

Considering they've lived in that particular house for over two years now, she probably does.

Considering he now knows where the mop, bucket and detergent are kept, and the manic look in his wife's eyes when she told the story, I'm guessing he's just had a new chore added to his feeble list of duties.

Methinks he really should have kept his mouth shut and done the dishes.

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About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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