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Friday, June 22, 2012

String Theory

"Close the door!" is the most oft said thing in this house because we have one shower, one bath and one toilet, and they're all in the same room - the laundry. The rooms in old Queenslanders like ours are well proportioned, but there aren't many of them.

Whenever Tracey, Miss17 or I are trying to have a shower some little person will inevitably fling the door open and announce, "I gotta pee!"

And we'll scream, "Close the door!" because they never think to do it by themselves.

Getting caught with your pants down isn't something my brother and his family can afford to be prudish about either. They have six souls living under the one roof - a mum & dad, three beautiful kids and a granny - so bathrooms are at a premium over there as well. 

Earlier tonight, Cousin12 had just finished drying himself after his shower when Grandma walked past the open bathroom door.

"Oh, for goodness sake," she exclaimed. "Put some clothes on!"

Now when I was twelve I would have died of embarrassment if my Grandma saw my tackle. But not this lad.

"Look at this, Grandma," he said, a hint of pride in his voice. "I can still do 'the guitar'!" I'll leave to your imagination to fill in the gaps on what his hands were strumming at that point. "Hey, look," he added excitedly as Grandma walked off shaking her head. "It's got strings now!"

Usually it's the people in the bathroom screaming for someone to "Close the door!"

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About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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