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Saturday, August 4, 2012

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It must be said, I have seen Cousin12 looking happier.
My brother is in trouble. Again.

You know how when you used to go away on school camps or sporting camps you'd play pranks on your mates? Well, in many ways Shane's still living in the eighties.

Last night, while his son slept, Shane took to my nephew's face with a Nikko. As you do. Incredibly, though, Shane isn't in trouble for treating his son's face as a personal diary. The real reason Shanus is in trouble is his choice of word and the fact the pen was permanent ink. Oh, and Cousin12 had a footy game to play today.

Look closely at the photo above and you'll see, easily discernible beneath the redness caused by a fair bit of scrubbing and rubbing, the offending word my brother chose. I'm not sure having LOSER written on your cheek is as daunting to the opposition team as Cousin12 might have liked. I can't help but think if Shane had written KILLER or DIE! things would have been better.

On the other hand, it could have been much, much worse.

"I wanted to shave off an eyebrow but Shelley wouldn't let me," said Shane. "She's such a prude."

Brave man, Shane, but I'm not sure you've thought this through. I mean you have to sleep sometime and there's still plenty of ink left in that Nikko.

And next time I'm in Brisvegas, Cousin12, I'll show you what can be done with Deep Heat and a pair of your dad's bike pants.




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2 comments:

Fahranaaz said...

Deep Heat? Oh Lawd, that would be one unlucky victim lol

Bruce Devereaux said...

I speak from experience - it hurts like a bitch :)

About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.

 

His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).

 

Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.

 

His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


 

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