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Monday, January 16, 2012

I'm losing it

Although the diet is going well there are times when I wonder if it isn't having an effect on my brain as well as my body. I mean, I've been a bit cranky at times. Like when we took the kids to McDonalds and I couldn't eat anything on the menu board and had to pay for a black coffee: that is, a coffee without the frothy stuff which makes it drinkable.

First sign I was going actually going nuts, though, was on Saturday evening when I walked under the shower and momentarily went blind because I still had my glasses on.

But the big pointer to my deteriorating mental capacity was on Saturday night when Tracey and I woke up at about two o'clock because of a noise.

"What was that?" asked my 39 week pregnant wife as she sprang out of bed to investigate.

I, naturally, remained in bed. In fact, even my eyes remained shut.

As she slipped back into bed it occurred to me what the noise was.

"It was a gecko," I told her. That will put her mind as ease.


Maybe I wasn't speaking clearly enough. I was tired and it was the middle of the night.

"It was a gecko," I said loudly and succinctly in her general direction - my eyes still refusing to open. "That sound. It was a gecko."

"What the hell!! Go to sleep!!" she snapped.

This wasn't the 'oh, of course, thanks for clearing that up, darling' response I was expecting. Turns out the reason for her gruffness was she hadn't just jumped back into bed afterall - she'd in fact been back in bed for two hours and it was now four o'clock.

On the bright side, it's good practice for the impending nighttime feedings. I might mention that to her about 3am tonight :)


Kez said...

Hahaha. I think I went a bit mental when I had gestational diabetes. I couldn't order anything on any menu either. For a foodie, that's just torture!
I love how your very pregnant wife went to investigate a strange noise haha.
My husband let me investigate middle of the night sounds as well. He sleeps like a log (well he did before the baby)!

jenniferwright said...

brilliant, btw, try ordering a macchiato, topped up with hot water. basically a shot a coffee with staining of milk to fool you into thinking you have had the white stuff.

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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