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Saturday, January 28, 2012

It Seems My English Teachers Should Fry

I have just learned the most horrible news: I'm dumb. I am, apparently, the product of a misguided education where we were taught falsehoods and lies.

What has me in such a tither? Well according to Stephen Fry on QI, the 'I before E except after C' is no longer taught in school because in the English language there are, in fact, more cases of the opposite being true.

There are, according to Mr Fry, 923 English words which don't abide by this rule, 21 times as many words that break the rule than don't. Seriously, if we were going to discard rules simply because more people don't follow them than do half our road rules would be gone in a flash.

It's only been 26 years since I was in school (straight face). What else have they gone and changed? Next thing you'll be telling me I can't teach my kids the difference between principle and principal by explaining the principal is your pal (I always thought this rule was more the punchline to a little English teacher joke).

Not that I think all these things matter anymore. I have a son in university who I'm pretty sure can't spell university. There are letters dropping out of words all over the place these days - 'are' lost an 'a' and an 'e' and is reduced to just 'r'. Texts with my kids are awash with OMG, LOL, ROFL, BRB, GTG and FYI's. I mean, WTF?

Anyway, I'm not lying (unlike my teachers!). See for yourself:


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About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.

 

His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).

 

Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.

 

His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


 

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