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Thursday, May 3, 2012

No Parking

Catching up with my mum at lunch time we were entertained by a lovely old bird who was parking her car.

Just as our BLT arrived the lady pulled up twenty meters from us in her tiny little car and began reverse parking. 

She began, went half a meter, stopped, looked around, began to reverse again, stopped, went forward, went backwards, forwards, stopped. 

She went to hop out of her car around this point but realized she was closer to the center of the road than the footpath.

Forwards, forwards, backwards, forwards, backwards, backwards - always in half meter increments. The spectacle went on and on as we suspended all conversation and sat eating and watching the show. Every time we thought she was finished the car would move again. Then stop.

Just as we finished our sandwiches (yes, she was shuffling around the parking spot for about fifteen minutes) she flicked on her indicator and slowly, in half meter bunny hops, she edged her way into traffic and drove off without having done whatever it was she'd come down town for.

Chuckling (uncharitably I admit) at the poor dear's parking difficulties, we wondered how the conversation might have gone when she arrived home.

"Did you get to the bank, dear?" we pictured her husband asking.

"No," she'll answer irritably. "I couldn't find a park anywhere."

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About Me

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Bruce Devereaux is one of the nicest people he knows. When not at work he enjoys reading, writing, hiding from his children and not changing nappies.


His career, and if we used the term any more loosely an e might fall out, has included a gardener, a personal lender, a console operator, a stop/go man (not as big a bludge as you might think but great if you’re into sunburn, abuse and varicose veins), a cleaner of banks and pubs and, for a very brief period, a door to door salesman (until the last door he knocked on was answered by a very scary woman with tremendously hairy legs).


Bruce Devereaux currently works as a forty-five-year-old award winning customer service officer (glass statuette available upon request) for the Bank of Queensland and as a very casual employee for Corrective Services. He likes to believe he excels at both but then he has always been prone to exaggeration.


His favourite colour is green, with a picture of Dame Nellie Melba on one side and General Sir John Monash on the other. His favourite flower is self-raising.

 If you see him around town, call his wife immediately - he's probably snuck out and left her alone with all the kids.


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